I’m a poor judge of character and I hate your guts

Walking down the street I look at a guy and immediately judge him as an asshole. Or an interesting dude. What a black and white world I live in. And I tell you, it’s easy. The moment I add some grayish hues I’m screwed.

In math it’s easy, 1=1 and that’s that. Nothing more to it. But with people it’s totally different. Steve Jobs was an asshole but look what he created - an imperium of sorts. And what about Jack Welch or Napoleon. Both of them are regarded as assholes but they all created something remarkable.

Of course a lot of times it’s just not that easy. These guys are also manipulative and socially talented. Other people want to please them. So they’ve got charisma. Suddenly the whole ballgame changes and you don’t know what to think of these people. One second they’re charming and another they gut you and feed you to the rats. And when you’re down, gutted and kicked in the groin you’ll want some more.

These sort of people are emotionally draining. But they’re extraordinary as well. The inner judge comes back and now it’s time to choose between your health and some twisted need to please. How do you judge if a guy is just full of shit or there’s more it him? No idea. But I know how to save yourself from getting emotionally drained by crappy people.

One rule only: you need to ignore them completely. Cut them out of your life. No remorse, no looking back, just ignoring. Eventually they will drain you out and you’re left with nothing and they don’t even remember talking to you. Don’t waste time thinking about them or how you’d get back at them. It is not useful. You need to catch your thoughts before you start wallowing in them and stop yourself. Just categorize those thoughts as not useful because that’s what they are (see also X-mas special). No talking about them behind their backs or thinking about them. Just ignore them.

But the people that bring you joy, love and happiness. You need to embrace them. You need to do this every day. These people give you the energy and help to get over the first kind. Recognize these people and tell them you love them and go do it now.

There’re a lot of people that fall in between the two, the gossiping kind, the weird folk and the beer drinking bunch of rednecks. You need to be your own judge and decide what to do with them. They’re the grey area. Hold on to the ones close to you and you’ll work it out.

Related posts: Christmas Special: why to give rather than take?

Posted 2 years ago with tags inspiration lifestyle motivation Rauno's Blog 

How to get over the blank page syndrome or how to screw up any project

There’s only one way to it really. Start writing. Look around your room, pick a topic and go. At some point when you’re writing you’ll get to a point when you really understand what you want to write about.

I want to get inspired by something. Usually it’s something that I’ve read somewhere else, seen somewhere or somehow acquired from my surroundings. Sometimes I dream something and I’ll get an idea from that. But the best topics are ones that are inspired by others.

But inspiration comes in many forms. Sometimes an abstract painting can give an idea. For example, I saw an abstract painting the other day. It made absolutely no sense at all. But I liked it and I liked it so much that I went to look at the painting again the next day. It didn’t inspire me to write but to think of art in totally different terms. And what is writing if not a form of thinking?

What if you already have a topic but still nothing? You really need to start brainstorming. You need to work as the mind does. It’s the same in business and in projects. A lot of times we do it totally upside down. For example in school they instruct you to make the outline first. What a load of crap. Of course you hit a wall because your mind works the other way. This is how you need to do it.

1) Find the purpose, the topic, the target. Play around with it a little bit just to get you going. Try to see the outcome with your mind’s eye.

2) Brainstorm. Write down wild ideas, make lists, throw yourself at it. If you think of nothing then start the other way around: write down a list of things that you definitely won’t be writing about. There, you already have something and your brain started processing.

3) Now start putting your brain farts in some kind of order. Create a basis that you then start elaborating.

4) Go, write, you’ve already done half the job and the fun part can start.

This is the way the brain works. Whenever you go against it you fail and need to start all over again. This is why a lot of projects fail to deliver in time and in budget as well. They start from the bottom up and they’ve already lost the cause.

Don’t play against yourself. Plan well and follow me on Twitter.

Posted 2 years ago with tags art gtd inspiration motivation writing Rauno's Blog 

Christmas Special: why to give rather than take?

To get things straight from the beginning… I like it when people tell me I’m good at something or when I get gifts. I generally like all of the getting unless it’s getting beaten up. A lot of times, though, giving is more profitable. Give and you shall receive is no joke. Jesus, Buddha and probably also Mohammed talked about it.

Do give more than you initially promised. This is not expected and will differentiate you from every other person. Do this with customers and other people as well. If you promise to give information, elaborate a little bit. Just give your input. And also give ideas. If you say you’re going to get back to an issue next week, do it in the beginning of the new week. In every aspect of life, you will be remembered.

Give thanks and give credit. Give it every day, it’s all free. You can’t go wrong with this one. Throw a “good job, Jim” or “nicely done, Jane” every now and then and you’ll be golden. And “thanks for helping me out, Bob, you’re a life saver” isn’t too bad either. All of this will come back to you. Just sit back and enjoy.

Give your trust and people will surprise you. A lot of times we give way too little credit for other people than ourselves. We micro manage everything and suddenly we’ve got too much on our plates. Let go, give the stuff away and give them trust. Give them a possibility to prove themselves. And then give credit.

Give a piece of yourself. This will show that you’re a human being and can be trusted as well. It’s incredible how much more you respect a person when you know a little bit more than just the surface. And they’re so much more approachable.

Give forgiveness. This will literally save your life. If you don’t forgive the burden is more on you. Your heart rate goes up when you think about them. You can’t sleep as you start thinking how you’re going to play a Travis Barker-like drum solo on their face with your fists while kneeing in the groin for some underground house sound. Better to label those thoughts as not useful and just walk away.

The universe will take care of the rest.

Give me a present and follow me on Twitter.

I almost forgot. Merry Christmas!

Posted 2 years ago with tags caring christmas giving lifestyle motivation Rauno's Blog 

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